10 things I've learnt about Parenting

There are a lot of these style of posts on the internet over the last few years, and while most of them hit the nail on the head, I can’t help but feel like there are always a few items missing from the list.

We've been parents for over 11 years now, and here are some things we wish someone had sat us down and told us ..... Just so we could have been prepared…….

1) Everything makes you well up – I was never a ‘crier’ before I had children, everything would wash over me, and I would shrug it off. I was the one dry-eyed at the end of ‘Titanic’, the girl who preferred to watch horror movies to the romantic weepies. But after giving birth to my son this changed. Anything to do with children and I was gone. Weeping like a baby. I was actually asked if I needed to ‘leave for a moment’ during a performance of ‘Billy Elliott’ because I was snivelling from the opening number. Even my mother was embarrassed. It has got better, but I still have to collect myself if there is a sweet child on the TV telling his mum that he loves her!

2) You will get used to just ‘being gross’ – in the last 10 years or so I have been covered – sometimes all in one day – in blood, vomit, number 1s and 2s, paint, home-made paper mâché, glue, mud, cat poop, dog poop, pond water, sand, seaweed, chocolate, porridge, soup, coffee, ketchup, pasta sauce, scrambled egg and dead bugs. I’ve arrived at work and had a colleague point out porridge in my hair. It is all part of being a mum, and a dad for that matter. Delightful!

3) You will develop a ‘mum’ wardrobe – I think I am pretty stylish, I dress smartly for work, and look pretty good in ‘business wear’. I scrub up pretty nicely when I’m in my ‘party’ gear too, and have a great selection of shoes. However I now spend the majority of my time in my ‘mum’ wear. Jeans which have the odd rip or paint stain, comfy trainers, over sized jumpers and t’shirts. I promised myself I would not develop this attire when I was expecting my son, and imagined myself swanning around town in heels and skinny jeans (a’la Victoria Beckham), with beautiful clean well behaved children. However it is difficult to chase a kid around Tescos in a pair of heels , and almost impossible to kneel down on the floor to complete a puzzle in skinny jeans, and children are dirty, and will find a way to ruin nice clothes. So – voila- my mum wardrobe was born.

4) You will have a head lice infestation – it does not matter how clean you are, how careful you are and how OCD you are about checking your child’s hair – you WILL get the dreaded ‘there has been a case of head lice reported in your child’s class’ message from the school, and you will check your child’s hair with fear and dread – and at some point you WILL find something. You will then want to burn everything in your house, cry, spend a fortune on treatment, treat the whole family, spend another fortune on ‘preventative’ shampoos , burn everything anyway, cry some more, and go to work the next day sporting the fashionable ‘my child had nits ‘ hairstyle the treatment causes ( Greasy – mirror shiny hair). But you’ll survive it.

5) You will live day-to-day in a bubble of guilt – am I spending enough time with them, should I help them more with their work , was I too harsh / soft with the punishment, should I have bought the latest gadget, should I have shouted, did I forget to kiss them goodbye, should I have gone to their concert, am I putting work first , should I have read one more story, will they still love me, do they miss me, are they happy at school????? And so on!!!

6) You will need to come out of your comfort zone — I make friends easily – in the sense that if I am around someone long enough I’ll become friends with them. Actually contacting someone I do not know and making plans and small talk with terrifies me. I’ve never been on a blind date, and my friends have always been school pals and work colleagues. When you become a mum you HAVE to make an effort to meet the parents of their friends. Which is scary for someone who is a bit ‘awkward’ . But I’ve done it – for both my children – and while it was scary and I felt awkward to start with , it has been quite a pleasant experience. In fact I’ve actually made some very good friends – simply by making that little leap and smiling at someone on the school gates — luckily they smiled back !

7) You will no longer watch the news – maybe this is just me , but not only do I find the news desperately depressing I am always aware that I have little eyes and ears in the house. They do not need to hear some of the things that go on. So as a result I never have the news on. Sometimes I catch a little when the kids go to bed, but this is usually the time when I catch up on marking / chatting with my husband / sleeping . So I just don’t watch it. I get my news from the internet now .

8) You will however become familiar with children’s pop culture references. – I know all the words to many of the Disney films and songs, I know all about Minecraft and Angry Birds, can quote The Simpsons better than some Shakespeare. I can identity many of the Marvel and DC characters, know the difference between a Water fairy and a Tinker fairy, and can name most of the Monster High girls. I’m waiting for the teenage years to arrive , when I’m sure I’ll be clued up on the latest boy bands, computer games, gigs, bands and shows. I suppose it keeps things interesting

9) You’ll stop sleeping and can get by on very little sleep. – before children I enjoyed a lie in at weekends, and could sleep through a brass band. However now I will hear my children sneeze in their beds, cough in their sleep, even shuffle about. I’ll hear them and I’ll be wide awake. Immediately. And I will not go back to sleep. Somehow I can make it through the day with this lack of sleep. I think I also manage to function pretty well.

And finally

10) Everyday is different – I’ve learnt to expect the unexpected. My children present me with different challenges everyday. There is always something happening. From feeling like I am herding chickens when I take the children shopping with me, to being the peacemaker for them, from watching them learn how to make their own way in the world, to comforting them when they have a bad dream. My children are always keeping me on my toes. And I love them.

Happy parenting mummies ( and daddies out there )

#parenting #guilt #fun #dad #mum #kids #work #home