The Madness Within

Today we had a moment with our remaining gold-fish. (For the purpose of this post I shall refer to it as ‘she’). She had got her head stuck in her ‘bridge’ and was flapping her tail wildly trying to figure out how to free herself.

As this fish is quite dear to us ( we’ve nursed it back from the brink of death using a wet towel, empty take away box and a frozen pea – I kid you not dear reader this is true) – I had to put my hand into the tank and free the poor creature, to the amusement of my son and daughter. So while I was elbow deep in tank water trying to free a goldfish head from a toy bridge I started wondering if this is a common occurrence in the life of a parent, or are we just ‘that sort of eccentric family’?

When I was younger I do remember moments like the above, not always involving pets, sometimes, but not always. I mean I’m sure as my mother frantically crashed around the living room trying to catch the budgie I’d freed for the tenth time she must have thought ‘is this normal behaviour ?’. I don’t know that it is, I am convinced that I just attract these mad situations. Growing up I caused all number of catastrophes, including covering my mother’s living room with porridge ( I was very excited about my breakfast, so much so I gestured too wildly and knocked the bowl out of mother’s hands – I’ve not eaten porridge since ) , I ‘rescued’ a crow on my way home from school using a cardboard box I found, then released it in the kitchen. I successfully blew up my father’s TV during a game of indoor penalty shoot out (in fairness to me , my father kicked the ball- I just failed to save it), I flooded the toilets of my school (something I’m proud to say my son repeated during his first weeks at pre-school), and I managed to ( with the help of my cousins ) destroy the tree in my uncle’s back garden! And this is not even including my teenage years! ( I’m sure I’ll discuss those moments at some point)

This madness has followed me into my adult life, and I’ve passed the gene onto my children. In only a short space of time; I’ve worn odd shoes to my induction day at my new school , given myself two minor electric shocks playing with stage lighting, set fire to my oven cooking bacon, attempted to leave a restaurant and finding myself attached to the sweet trolley which wanted to follow me out, and pulled a shelf of paint in a DIY store all over myself and the floor!

In the last five years my son has covered our downstairs (including fish tank) with a bright red permanent pen – we are still trying to remove it from the downstairs loo – had to be cut out of a plastic chair he had managed to wedge his head in, flooded the upstairs bathroom trying to fill a balloon with water , and covered the whole house with homemade papier-mâché.

My daughter was the murderer of our second goldfish – she over fed them and sadly one did not survive the ‘pea intervention’, flooded the downstairs loo trying to make a swimming pool and covered the lawn and garden in paint trying to recreate the snow from Disney’s ‘Frozen’.

I get this from my father , he once walked into a hospital to visit an aunt, sat down next to a woman , handed her the chocolates , only to realise he was sitting at the wrong bedside ( and yes he took the chocolates back ), he lost the tip of his middle finger playing hide and seek with his brothers ( he shut himself in a door ) and I of course mentioned the TV / football incident !

I think my point is that whether this madness is a normal part of family life or not, it does make for an interesting time . I know that once we’ve survived the latest insanity we are on the lookout for the next one. And of course we always laugh afterwards !

So returning to the ‘fish saga part 2’ I managed to free poor ‘Nemo’ after 15 mins and she is currently swimming happily in her tank. As I settle down for a snuggle with the kids before bedtime my son looks in the tank and asks ‘why did she put her head in it in the first place?’ , and I have to smile – she clearly thought that we hadn’t had a moment of madness for a while!!

And do you know what – I wouldn’t change a thing .

#funny #fish #madness #family #doofus